The Americas - Out of sorts

4 am starts to get to the border before the rush. Madness at customs followed by manic drivers and blown engines. It was all good fun in reality and with no real plans for the rest of the day I went to see some historical type stuff. If I can get the photos to upload I can share some of the ancient temples with you. Ancient temples are most certainly amazingly and wonderously cool. And old too. Some of them are very, very, old. The History stuff associated is also most stimulating - the local Mayans had a king some time around 500bc called Smoke Monkey which is not to be trifled with. There is also a carving of 2 royal types sharing what appeared to be a bong. Ancient bong hits. Highly stimulating I think you will agree.

They do, however, look a little bit similar across the world. Angkor Wat in Cambodia is really strikingly like Copan in Honduras. I suppose that building materials were similar and that sun worship and smoking monkeys were all consistent parts of the world before "el senor" arrived but the similarities are still striking.The next thing you know they'll be saying that all the continents used to fit together to make it easier to get the builders onto site. I'm not having it though - aliens. Mark my words.

In other news, while I was feigning interest in said crumbling piles of rock (and dodging fat loud tourists), I discovered a new breed of squirrel. I believe that it is a cross with a small dog or potentially a large cat. I have called it a Snipple. I shall make up a latin name for it when I get a chance. I took a picture and as you see (or will be able to when I can upload it) it really is a new type of animal never recorded before. I am incredibly pleased to be able to continue the Great British tradition of documenting wildlife as I voyage HRH's green and pleasant world. I also tried to upload the video which captured the action which followed. In summary, I shot the Snipple (shotgun, 2 volleys, 12 yards, static beast) to prove I had seen it and was then forced to beat some locals with a large stick for being overly familiar and not standing while I sang the National Anthem. Send Her Victorious, I think you'll agree.

Anyway, talking of the Homeland reminds me of a necessary update. The weather - Honduras is incredibly hot and humid. I do not say this with any great suprise as I am close to the Equator and it is the end of the rainy season. However just so you get the idea the locals seem to walk no more than 50 metres prior to looking for a shady location to squat down. Hot. Moist. Any takers?

The bus to Ceiba and ferry to Utila are set for tomorrow morning at 6. The trip is supposed to be beautiful however if it was anything like today the combination of stunning countryside and the latest attempt on the "shitty old minibus going down a hill" speed record are set to make it a thoroughly interactive experience. Which is fortunately how I like my public transport. Will try to take a video of me throwing up out of the window.

Time is certainly flying. Left Argentina a month ago and am getting into the swing of things (not that sort...). Geev rocks up in Costa Rica in about 12 days so I need to think about heading further south a bit sharpish. Not too sharpish however, scuba and beach then some hard yards with a cold beer and more beach awaiting my arrival. Does anyone still read this? Not sure I would if I were sitting at your desk looking out that window..... although if you are then you should steal someones roll of scotch tape. You know you want to.

Meteor still en route. Make hay.
(Pictures) Later
Lid

Well Sasho arrived on the Friday and stayed here for a week. My degree of application to my Spanish studies dropped off a little and the evenings got a little bit later each night. San Pedro is pretty chilled (everything closes at 1 - technically) but you can still have a decent night of fun if you hit the town early enough. There are plenty of places to order a pancake and sit about for a couple of hours. Anyway I could go on but won't. Sasho will write something from San Diego should he make it home in one piece. Pictures etc below. Commentary to follow from the crazy bulgarian dude. (we actually shared a room on the last night - as he got up in the morning he mentioned that "if we had shared room in san pedro you would be dead" - sound more impressive with a bulgarian accent - apparently not a fan of snoring).

My Spanish teacher - although he looks like the dude from CHiPs.

Ben and Dee from El Barrio.

Crazy Italian dude Walter -

Who is quite crazy. The rest of the poker team refused to have their photos taken / which I thought a touch odd...

Sasho and I

And the man after 8 hours of torrential rain. He only brought a pair of sandals but did remarkably well considering.

And it rains a lot.

And just as a friendly reminder.

So I am off to Honduras and Sasho is off home to cure cancer in cali - good luck to him with that. Good to see you fella. Good times (if wet) all round. I didn't really see a lot of Guatemala - but I did have a very cool time all round. The people were kind and most amusing. Its pretty easy to fit into a place where no-one fits in. Another oddity added to the mix leaves the place no more or less balanced so it doesn't really matter. Thanks to them all - hope to see them again on the way back round. Cool lake by the way. Not sure I mentioned that.

Take care all - big meteor heading our way.
Lid

ps. apologies to JJ for incorrect spelling in previous blog. Will work on maintaining standards going forward.

Well it was bound to happen at some point but I figured I would have another week or two to at least. Managed to lose a day on Friday, gain one on Sunday and still not know which way was up on Monday. Apparently its the end of September as well. If I could remember when I got to whichever country I am now in I could work out how long I had been here for. Oh, damn it, I've forgotten the date again....and now I don't recall why I was trying to work it out in the first place. Bugger this for a laugh, off swimming.

I have been assured that all of this is quite normal stuff. The human brain becomes conditioned - pavlovian response sort of thing only with less saliva and no bells - anyway the brain becomes conditioned to only having 2 week breaks at a time and starts freaking out when it realises that not only has normality failed to return but that, in fact, it is unlikely to make a reappaearance anytime soon, if ever. Or if you want to get even deeper it starts to wonder whether the reality it thinks it became conditioned to actually existed at all or was in fact merely an hallucinogenic episode - or alternatively some sort of sensory punishment - depending of course on how you look at your past. Glass half empty or half full. With me? Good. Anyhoo, all this results in some irregular waveform induced spacial discombobulation which itself causes you to have regular discussions with fellow "lost-its" regarding your favourite discovery channel program. I personally liked the one on hyenas with the one on sloths coming a close second. Never liked Meer cats really. Not my type of rodent.

Happily though, all's well that ends well. Sasho is turning up on Friday. My Spanish is actually pretty good - not only just the rude words (although if you don't believe me you can "mete en tu culo"). Please note that when I say good I actually mean better than you would expect for an English bloke with sub-normal IQ levels and no natural language ability. Aside from that I am playing poker reglarly, winning occasionally and generally practising for my advanced level "hanging out" qualification. It is going well so far.

Travellers Bible Rule #2: for those of you still reading. Much respect and general murmurings of admiration must be forthcoming for the most revered of all creatures the eternal traveller can be fortunate enough to run into - the traveller who doesn't. Generally on the run from debts, crimes, ex-wives, interpol, colombian drug bosses or a combination of all of the aforementioned. These travellers have clearly been generally hanging out for several decades. They will speak some of the local language but not a lot. They will generally wear clothing which although well worn clearly places them at Woodstock or at least in the vicinity. Hair long. Beard very long. Most importantly of all they will under no circumstances travel anywhere. They are happy to wander around all day but they will certainly not get on a plane, train, boat or even a bus - although should the bus have a chicken in it then they may reconsider. They are almost as local as the locals themselves and they are here for good. The main man in San Pedro is called Dave. If you rock past you can't miss him. Buy him a beer early evening. You will not regret it.

Photos of cocktails and adventures with Sasho to follow. Apologies but it takes about half an hour to upload a photo - and today I cannot be arsed. As such have a look at my niece again - very cute.

Take care. Be nice to each other. Its a crazy world.
Lid

p.s. mum and dad - no need to worry - quite aside from what you may think after reading the above I am still avoiding the wacky backy.